Saturday, July 5, 2008

To Tell or Not?.......... and Prayer

When I was first diagnosed with cancer, like any cancer patient, you wonder and think about 1) should I keep this to myself for awhile? or 2) do I tell family and friends? For me, I had no choice but to tell my mom because at the time of my diagnosis, I was in such bad shape because of the fractures in my spine and the hole that had literally been eaten away in my pelvis, that she was the person who drove me to all of my medical appts. and went in to see the doctors with me. At the time, I was in no shape to drive because I was in alot of pain, wearing a back brace and walking with a cane. I did however, have the option of telling other family members and friends though. For me to keep this diagnosis to myself though, just wasn't my personality though. Don't get me wrong...... After the timing of telling my daughters, the rest of my extended family and friends weren't told until I had been diagnosed 3+ months, all except of course for my sister Kate. There was no way I could keep it from her, so I told her even before I knew what kind of cancer it was. Why do some people shout their diagnosis from the rooftops, others don't tell a soul for a very long time and others fall somewhere in between? I'm not sure of the answer really, does it have to do with your readiness to face your diagnosis? Does it have to do with your basic personality traits? Does it have to do with how people will look at you now,or what they'll be thinking? For me, I believe that I needed to know that firstly, I had people in my corner so to speak......that I had my family for support and to listen and be there for me. All I really needed at first was my mom and sister.....and then they gave me the strength to tell my daughters when I had all the facts, which then in turn, when I was ready to share the news with others in my family and friends, I had the support of the people most important to me. It made it easier then, to share my news with the world, that I had cancer, but hey.....don't feel sorry for me because I have plans to beat this thing. As it turns out, the best thing WAS to "tell the whole world" though because when I did, I was put on so many prayer chains and prayed for by name in so many prayer circles that I really had all my bases covered!! People who did not even know me were personally praying for me, and when I was told that by so many relatives and friends, it really lightened my load. I just pictured God hearing all these prayers coming in for me and saying....sheesh...all right already.....I'm really really getting tired of hearing this woman's name over and over everyday, so I'll make her well just to get you guys off my back!!! LOL......God does have a sense of humor too!

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