I sound like a Broken Record......

I feel so neglectful lately and I really really miss writing in my blog, so no excuses, I'm just going to prioritize things and make it go back up to the top. The intentions were there, yet I didn't follow through and I'm kinda mad at myself about that. I have all these things I want to talk about too and they just rumble and rumble around in my head. I do talk about them, but really haven't been doing too much of that lately either.....what a shock! I've just been really busy trying my best to get Jashlin Jewelry up and running that that's all I have been focusing on really. For 2 weeks prior to the WPB shows I was preparing and making jewelry, making beads, firing the beads and then you have to clean the holes of the beads too. Then I went to WPB for 5 days and had 3 very successful Jewelry Shows (one at Jan's office, one at the school where my niece works and one at Kate's old work) while I was there and since I've been home (came home Wed. the 5th), I've been working on custom orders, making beads, etc etc. I feel somewhat under the gun as I leave this upcoming Friday the 14th to go back to WPB as I'm leaving for a cruise on Sat the 15th!! YAY!!!! It will be my sissie's 50th Birthday tomorrow (the 10th), so instead of doing "the usual" she wanted to make this memorable, so a few months ago, the family decided to go on a cruise to the Caribbean and best of all, my Uncle Tom and Patty are joining us from Wichita so I just can't wait to go! It will be Kate and Dicky and Mom and Van and me and Tom and Patty and Terry and her husband (Dicky's sister). We'll be going to Puerto Rico, St Thomas and another St. Somewhere (can't remember right now.......LOL) Sounds like the Jimmy Buffett song! :)
I've been on cruises before but not the size of this ship. It's the Carnival Liberty, so if you get bored look it up on the internet and see what kind of ship, activities and food we'll be looking at! They say you gain 10 lbs on a cruise, so that sounds great to me! Clocking in at 99 lbs today! The food is supposed to be fabulous and it's like all you can eat lobster and yummy things like that. Count me in....I'm even getting kinda hungry right now just thinkin about it. Getting back to WPB for a minute.....while I was there I had a long overdue get together with some friends that go all the way back to Elementary School and High School. My friend Jan (do you know she is the only other Jan I've ever known my entire life?) had a jewelry party at her husband's office where I met some really nice people, saw Jan again after many years, and another friend Kathe came to see me there and I've actually known Kathe and her family since we were little bitty kids.....like 5 years old!! On that Sunday, Jan, me my friend Beth and my friend Julia met for brunch at this really cute cafe and I had a great time playing "catch up" with all of them. Everyone looked TERRIFIC too!! I feel so fortunate that Jan reached out to me when she got word from Beth that I had cancer. Jan then emailed me and that's when our re-connection began. She and I have been emailing back and forth and I truly so appreciate the effort Jan has made and that my friends made an effort to come see me while I was there. From now on, we will not lose touch and that's the way it was meant to be. I love the way the Universe works. Really wonderful things happen through the so called "bad times". It really does show you who in your life is there for you, when you least suspect it. In that same vein, I have received many emails from people who have stumbled upon this blog in some way and have made "friends" with them as they too are going through this journey or someone they love is going through it and we have joined hands in support of one another. How wonderful that this ugly ugly disease can make something so beautiful. I'm having a bit of anxiety today, as today is "pee" day.....my term for the every so often " 24 urine collection" I have to do. I collect all day today and 1st pee in the morning and then have to run it to the lab. It's something I will have to do for the rest of my life....one of the little cancer gifts......and I don't think I'll ever really get used to it as the test results will let us know if my protein levels are up and that in turn means my MM has returned. This urine test and a bone marrow biopsy are the determiners, so now it will be the wait and see game while waiting for the test results. I am now 6 months post transplant. I've posted some photos of my get together with friends. Promise.....it won't be another week or so when I come talk to you here. I have lots of things in my head.

I've been so BUSY, Ya'll!

Please forgive me for not having written in a week, but life has been quite hectic and I'm lovin it! Time has had a way of flying by these days, as I've really have been busy from wake-up time till bed time and have to remind myself to eat and pee half the time!! Isn't that wonderful?? Being busy and productive, especially when it is YOUR choice of things, is to be in the best place in the world :) I have finally finished the garage and it is now my "OFFICIAL WORKSHOP". All miscellaneous crap has been either sold or given away, what I couldn't part with is organized on shelving against one wall and the rest is mine all mine!! The kids stuff, and coolers, lawn chairs, etc. and essential stuff that you just can't get rid because you know you will need it, is stacked in a little alcove I have in the garage so it's not in the way at all. If you have been here and seen what the garage did look like, you will know what a massive undertaking this was!! I should be embarrassed to tell you, that out of a 2 1/2 car garage, you had maybe a 2 ft path to walk in and get to the door entering the house, that's how stacked up with crap it was! But no more.......I laugh to myself thinking that you are reading this saying to yourself.....it's just a friggin garage....why is she so obsessed with the damn thing, writing about it and so excited about it! Well, it was just a phenomenal feat of mankind to get it organized...that's why!! I wish I would have taken a "before" photo but I will take an "after" photo so you can see how my studio looks. My kiln is arriving today by UPS, so I'll get that baby set up and start FIRING AWAY! I kept one of the 3 desks (I TOLD YOU I HAD A TON OF STUFF IN THERE), and have even organized that to hold all of my invoices, purchasing and mailing items so all are in one place and no scouring around wondering where this is or that is. On to another subject....my hair! Oh lordy lordy..I took some more photos of the "piece of art" on my head, and it really is growing, just in all different directions!! I'll post them when I get them out of my camera. Everyone should have the experience of shaving their head so you too can be mesmerized as you watch your hair grow in! I swear, if I didn't know better, I would say it is an alien being roosting on my head! Hair is growing in unimaginable ways....up, down, in circles, sideways.....you name it, it's growing in that direction, I swear. I wish my camera could get a really good close up (I won't stop trying, because it's a hoot to see) of all the swirlies and shit I got goin on! It will be really interesting to see how my hair finally ends up, both color and texture. When I was young and really till my mid 30's my hair was super curly....long ringlet type curls.....pretty now that I think about it, and so many people (strangers) would ask me where I got my hair "done" and when I would tell them it was natural they'd say "figures....I finally found hair I really like and it turns out you don't have a hairdresser to recommend". Then, when I started menopause VERY EARLY....right after I had Linz, the hormonal change started to straighten out my hair so I started to use a flattening iron, because it wasn't totally curl free, just an awkward in between thing, and the iron at least made it uniform. I also, back in the day, had enough hair for about 8 people, so very very thick and that's another thing that changed with menopause, the hair started thinning. So......I'm just so very curious about what this thing growing on top of my head is going to do, now that it gets a "DO-OVER". Now changing to my final thoughts of the day......I'm posting some overdue photos of Lindsay's graduation because I "lost" them on the computer! I knew I uploaded them, but it turns out I put them in a file within a file accidentally, because I know not what I do, and it's a file I hardly ever go in, and I came across them the other day when looking for something else. I really need help with computer stuff because I truly am computer impaired. I promise to post again tomorrow!!

Seeing the World thru "Rose Colored" Glasses..... REALLY!

To take you back a little while ago, I had ordered some glasses online (prescription) and I chose the ones that have that little magnetic thingie, that can make your regular glasses into sunglasses. I really didn't want to order separate sunglasses for some unknown reason, so I chose 2 pair of regular glasses that has this teeny magnetic thing to easily make them sunglasses by just clicking them on to your regular glasses. To take you back just a wee bit further.....I was listening to this guy called Clarke Howard on the radio in my car one day because he is on an AM channel, since my car radio crapped out on the FM stations for some reason, so I am basically stuck listening to talk radio when driving around. I've heard this guys show before and he's really really smart money-wise, about where to get the most out of your money, what's a deal and what's not etc. etc. You can check out his website at www.ClarkeHoward.com, as he has great tips on money related stuff from insurance to eyeglasses!! So anyways, I'm listening to his show one day and this lady called in to thank him for mentioning a website called Zenni Optical as she had ordered glasses from them and was so very pleased and thankful because she said the glasses were great and CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP. If you wear glasses, you know how much they cost......hundreds and hundreds. I have, what I guess you could say, worn glasses since the 8th grade.....but not really.... and my money's on unless you're family or have driven with me, you've probably not seen me wear them at all. No.....it's not vanity reasons ......I just having something on my face and I HATE wearing glasses because they bother me and I only need them for far away, so I'm constantly shoving them off and on my face as needed because if I am wearing them and then look at something up close, it makes everything fuzzy, so I basically wear them to drive and watch TV from a respectable distance. Otherwise they get tossed somewhere, or shoved on the top of my head, and I'm just really rough with the poor things! So after hearing what this lady said on the radio show, I jotted down the web address to order some, because mine were getting pretty raggedy. The glasses start at like $8.00 so what did I have to lose, even if I didn't like the damn things, at least I'd be able to see with them on, and besides, who has EVER heard of prescription glasses starting at $8.00!! All this happened about 8 months ago by the way. Anyway, I got my glasses and all's well with the world, but then I lost the sunglass part of my glasses....the little clip on magnetic thingie. I called them up and re-ordered just the sunglass part over the phone. I love the glasses by the way and paid $15.00 each for 2 pair, can you believe it? Go to www.zennioptical.com to look at what they offer....a GREAT selection and you just can't beat the price. As hard as I am on my glasses, it's definitely where I will be ordering them again. So anyways, as usual I digress :) I received my little sunglass part and ordered 2 of them at the time, as I know that I WILL lose them, it's just a matter of time! I keep them both in the hard plastic glasses case they came in and they're in my purse and whenever I'm driving I'll just grab a pair of the shades when it's sunny out. Now....I've been doing this for a long time now, since I re-ordered the shade part I lost, which was right after I got home from Moffitt because I lost the sunglass part when I was in Tampa for the transplant. So that means, I started wearing these new shades around the 1st week in July. So for the last 4 months, when driving in the sun, I just arbitrarily open the case where I store them, usually while driving....and just grab the 1st ones I feel and snap them on. No big deal. So today, I had to run some errands, and the same thing happened. Wasn't too sunny when I left, but while driving, reached into my purse and snapped the shades on the glasses. It took me a little while and I started to say to myself....wow...fall must really be changing the leaves on the trees, they look so pretty and shiny. Then I say to myself, wow, there must be newer cars on the road because all I'm seeing is this rainbow like coating on everybody's windshield, I guess it's a "new thing" cars are coming out with to help with the glare. Today EVERYTHING looked just beautiful! Signs, lights, even trash bags filled with leaves at people's curbs (trash pick up tomorrow).....and then DUH.... it dawned me...this can't be right! Everything I'm seeing is so pretty and shiny and has a slight rainbow type effect. If I tilted my head a little this way things were green shiny.....this way was gold shiny.....and another way pink shiny. Finally I figured out it must be the shades I had put on, but it took me awhile to figure out that must be it, but what are the odds that the last 4 months EVERY TIME I have put my shades on I grabbed the exact same ones, the ones that were "normal". Every single time until today. Today these shades made my travels so pretty, so different, so shiny.....I truly WAS seeing the world through rose colored glasses and it was a much prettier world I gotta say! Wanna borrow them sometime? I wish everyone could see what I saw today. A prettier, less harsher world.....even gigantic black plastic lawn bags!! I'm gonna put them where I grab them every time from now on.

Another Great Report........

I went to Dr. Nair today to get my prescription refills back on track. I really wasn't supposed to see him for another 2 weeks, but it seems since I came back from Moffitt, the timing of when to get refills have gotten all messed up. I think what happened was I had some of my meds refilled over in Tampa and some not so when I came back, some were refilled and some not, so that made some others due the next week, and on and on, so it seemed I was running to Walgreens one week for this med and then the next week for another and I just wanted to get back on track, so I get my prescriptions and have them ALL refilled once a month. It turned into a regular doctor appt so I filled him in on my Visit to Moffitt last week, was taken off a med I didn't want to take any more, and told him Dr. Ben took me off Acyclovir (the med I was taking to prevent getting shingles which is common for BMT people). I weighed 96.5, so gained another 1/2 pound.....woo hoo! Watch...... a year from now, I'll be complaining that I have 15 pounds to lose!! My bloodwork is what came as great news today. Remember those little ole' platelets that aren't going to be normal for a year? The "normal" is a range between 140 and 440 and last bloodwork they were 128, well TODAY there were a big fat 198! Now that my friends, IS NORMAL! It just keeps getting better and better. I dare you to find a happier person than me right now. Double Dare you. :) I've been really busy with this computer stuff too and should almost be done soon. I know I said that sometime last week, but I lied! I THOUGHT I would be done, but just got so burned out I stopped all computer activity to take a break, so now I'm starting back again. I think I'll be planning a trip to West Palm to see my sissie and family not this weekend but next, if nothing comes up to interfere. I'm really looking forward to it, as while I'm down there I will be meeting up with some long time, elementary school friends, to just play catch up with everyone.

Remission, Anyone?

Mom and I left on Tuesday afternoon and headed to Tampa for the big 5 months post BMT appt with my doctor at Moffitt Cancer Center. My appt wasn't until Wednesday, but it was at 8am and with Tampa being a 2 hour drive, and me feeling so yucky in the mornings and taking forever to feel normal, we decided to drive over Tues afternoon and spend the night so we'd be there first thing in the morning. Otherwise, we would have had to get up REALLY early to get there by 8:00 am and fight the downtown going to work traffic in Orlando, which could make you commit hari-kari. I had emailed my artist friend Kala, who I met at Moffitt when Kate and I went to "Art Therapy" one day and we just connected and felt "at home" with each other, and I asked if she'd like to meet us for dinner while we were there. She invited us over to her beautiful home to see her art studio, paintings and jewelry and then we went for some great Thai food. We had a wonderful evening catching up and enjoying each other's company. When I figure out how to post links on this thing, I'll post a link to her website so you can see how talented she is! So the next morning Mom and I were at Moffitt bright and early where I first went and gave some blood and then went to the hematology clinic to see my doctor. They called me back and I answered the usual questions and had my vitals taken.......which by the way I weighed 96 lbs! Woo Hoo! It's the bagels and cream cheese kick I'm on I think! Dr. Ben came in and we talked about my labs and he said he was just thrilled at how well I'm doing in such a short time and how well I have responded to the transplant. The original "treatment plan" when I was discharged after the transplant was that I would go back to Moffitt for 3-6-9 and 12 month post BMT visits and at the year visit I would have another bone marrow biopsy. Well, Dr. Ben said that he did not need to see me ANYMORE and that he felt very comfortable leaving me in the care of Dr. Nair and if there were any issues with my health that Dr. Nair would contact him. He said Dr. Nair is a great doctor and that I was in good hands with him. Now THAT, I already knew.....but Dr. Nair and Dr. Ben know each other as Dr. Nair worked at Moffitt for 5 years in the Bone Marrow Program, and when I became his patient, he referred me specifically to Dr. Ben for my transplant as he is considered one of the best MM doctors in the country. Again, divine intervention. The doctor I just happened to choose out of all the oncologists in my insurance book just happens to be a specialist in Multiple Myeloma and had worked in one of the most prestigious cancer hospitals under one of the most prestigious doctors that specializes in my type of cancer! So, my friends, I guess I got "fired"! I told him that and he laughed and he said the less I have to see him the better, which is oh so true. So........no more trekking over to Tampa anymore. AWESOME! And only once a month to Dr. Nair...gee what am I going to do with all this free time now, after being scheduled once a week (or more) for over a year and half? LIVE LIFE! After my visit with Dr. Ben, Mom and I snuck up to the BMT clinic to see the nurses that had taken such wonderful care of me. We just wanted to say hi and show them what the results of all their hard work looked like! I was sooooooo happy to see them and they were soooooooo thrilled to see me. It felt really really good. The positive energy was tremendous! They all hugged me and told me how great I looked and they said I "made their day" coming in to visit. I know when my "old" patients would come back to see me it felt so good to know that they were doing great so I guess seeing me doing so well was gratifying for them. All in all, we had a WONDERFUL trip to Tampa, and at this time I have been declared officially cancer free and in remission. I've posted some photos to me with Kala and Dr. Ben. I am so friggin happy right now :)

I am SOOOOO ready for HALLOWEEN......No Costume Needed

I am sooooooo sorry to do this to you, but so many people have asked me how the "hair" situation is. Or more accurately.....the "lack of hair" situation is! I deserve the National Medal of Honor for Bravery during Battle (the Cancer Battle), for even allowing you into this most secret (well not really secret if you see me on a daily basis) part of my life. I am posting the photos I took the other day of my "hairy situation". How horrid this is, but I have no fear. :) Good thing I don't embarrass easily......as a matter of fact.....who gives a shit how my hair looks? Don't raise your hands, please. I suppose in this hair growing back phase of my life, I will have many many awkward "phases" of hair re-growth and I will shamelessly share them all with you my friends. It wouldn't be fair, would it, if I only shared parts of my journey? Oh, hell NO. With me you get all the down and dirty details LOL.....aren't YOU lucky? At this point though, when I look in the mirror, I want my shiny bald head back, as I think my head looked much better totally bald than with this stubble I've got going on now. So anyway, I present you with the new and unimproved Jan. Let's see, these photos reflect that I am 142 days post the chemo that makes your hair fall out. I received the chemo on May 12th and 13th, and the hair started it's falling out process about 10 days after that. Gee my hair grows fast (wink wink)

About Yesterday......

Remember I told you I ran a bunch of errands yesterday? Well this has been in my brain since then, but I needed to think about it more and process my thoughts about it more, before I could write about it today. When I was standing in line to check out at Target, there were 2 women in front of me. Their ages are meaningless, as the story could apply to any age or sex actually. But before I tell my "Target story" though......just a wee bit of background on why I'm thinking and feeling this way. I think that before cancer (BC...how appropriate!!) we have a tendency to go through life on a kind of "auto-pilot" and have conditioned ourselves to think and respond to situations in the same old ways. I think at times anyway, we tend to exaggerate the stupid petty things in life and let them get under our skin, like a spill on the carpet, traffic on the roads, an irritating co-worker....whatever.....you know what I mean, life's little annoyances that we make ourselves crazy about. We tend , at times, to let them get the best of us and disturb our world, disturb our peace in the world, when really, c'mon.....they are just too petty to even dignify by letting them interfere in our world. Now that I have cancer and consider myself a cancer survivor, I want to think that I am beyond this stage of "conditioned responses". I feel I have been given the gift of seeing the bigger picture (on most days....hey I'm human!), I rarely even give a second thought to, what in the past I would have possibly let interfere in my life. I gave the person or incident power over me to change my mood (never to the positive LOL).....and steal from me the precious present. I can remember coming home or talking to friends and repeating whatever it was that pissed me off or irritated the crap out of me, which gave it double the power since it was still in my conscious brain! OK......now we're back at Target and I think now "after cancer" has made me a bit more observant about myself and others. As I was saying these 2 ladies were in line in front of me and there were only 3 registers open. I was the 4th person in this line. I will admit I think we did have a particularly slow check out gal, but oh well, that's the line I chose to stand in and Murphy's Law dictates it will always be the slowest!! These ladies in front of me started to get a little agitated and complaining (a bit loudly), which I will admit that I myself have been guilty of in the past. I was standing there listening to them, and I'm thinking to myself, dang.....I'll stand in line all day and be glad I'm alive to do it!! Having been through so much in the last 1-1/2 years, being so sick, more than I thought a person could ever be and still live, being given a diagnosis that surely meant a death sentence in the not so distant past, well hell...........I'm still here......I'm alive.....and I'm feeling pretty damn good right now. Cancer makes you realize that all you have is RIGHT NOW. You don't have an hour from now, or a day, or a week or a year from now. No guarantees people. So....back to Target (sorry I digress, as usual).....I felt like tapping them politely on the shoulder, telling them my story and then asking them if they possibly knew how many people would gladly trade places with them because it is a priceless gift to be alive and standing in line today. My motto these days is asking myself....."does THIS really matter?" "will it matter tomorrow or next week or next month?"....the answer is always a big fat NO. And oh yeah....one more thing......the gift of being thankful.

WOW...October already?

I can't believe that it's already October! These are the times of year I wish I lived "up north" so you would actually know there is a changing of the seasons. Living in Florida for basically your whole life, makes you miss out on some of the most beautiful times of year, with the colors changing on the trees. A little further north in Florida you can catch a bit of the seasonal change and then I have even more of a seasonal change than my sister does in So. FL. The great thing about this time of year for us is that we are nearing the end of the hellacious hurricane season, so we can breathe easier..... at least for one more year. I ran a bunch of errands today after a really nice conversation on the internet with my friend Susz who I met through an online support group. She has been in remission for over a year now, so I tell her she is my role model! I didn't even know you could do kinda an IM thing through our support, but she did, so it was nice having a "real time" conversation with her. She lives in Canada.....isn't the internet the BEST invention ever?? After I showered I ran to Walgreens for my prescription, then Walmart, then Target, then the bagel store (yum), and then CVS. In and out and in and out of the car, wears my skinny little butt out! It was all for stupid little things like Coke on sale etc, and I kinda wanted to get away from the computer for a while, as it seems that all I'm doing lately is typing, uploading, downloading etc etc, so I needed to get out of the house so I wouldn't do it for hours again today! I took some pictures of my beautiful hair growth, so I'll upload them tonite and post again tomorrow, to show you how luscious my hair is. :)

Still Pluggin' Along.....

I'm still working on listing this website stuff, but should be totally done (hopefully) by the end of the week. I want to get back to making my beads and then making jewelry with them.....I miss the creative aspect. I don't consider fiddling on the computer creative, although I suppose it would be, if I was creating actual websites for people (or me) and knew HTML. What a mysterious world that is to me. One day I would love to take a class and become more knowledgeable about the the ways of the computer world. You might as well be speaking to me in a foreign language! To me, I open the program..sign on...read my email.....go to a few websites.....read a few articles.....and that's it for me! I know my computer can do a zillion more things I am totally clueless about and I'm envious of those who DO have that kind of knowledge. I won't take the class though until the chemo brain fog subsides, as I'll learn something and then forget it the following day......if not sooner! I know my limitations! So I'm just farting around getting my things listed to sell and when I'm done I'll be posting the website address, so you can hopefully send it to all on your email list, who will then send to their email list etc etc, as word of mouth is the best advertising of all. I have an appt at Moffitt next week for my 4 month post BMT check up, but because of my "sneak peek" of the labs from the postponed appt I'm not expecting any surprises. I am excited about going though for a couple reasons.......Mom and I are going up the day before the appt because I have to be there at 8:00 am and to do that from here we'd practically have to get up in the middle of the night and leave, so going up the day before and staying in a hotel so it'll be less stressful. But I'm excited because Mom and I are meeting up with my friend Kala who I met at Moffitt when Kate and I went to "Art Therapy" during my BMT. She is a Volunteer at the Moffitt Cancer Center and an artist who does beautiful work and she has also branched out into making jewelry too!! We are going to meet at her studio and then go for some Thai Food. I'm also looking forward to seeing all the doctors and nurses who were involved in my BMT journey, as I developed a relationship with them and want to give them a big hug and tell show them what a great job they did (ME!). Don't forget to scroll to the bottom of the page and sign up as a "follower" please. Thanks!

Cancer.......The Gift of Clarity

We are all a work in perpetual progress, hopefully becoming a bigger and better person every day. To wake up EVERY morning and set goals and be determined to make this a better day than yesterday is the goal. To make YOU a better you than you were the day before is the goal. When you are diagnosed with cancer, one of the many gifts you receive from it, if you are OPEN & CHOOSE to receive it, is the gift of clarity in seeing the big picture. Now don't get me wrong, I'm as guilty as the next person of losing that focus from time to time, we're only human after all, but the ability to keep clarity in the forefront of every day is a true blessing. Since I have been diagnosed and gone through the torturous bone marrow transplant and lived to tell the tale, it has made me so aware of living each and every moment as best I can and being the best person I can possibly be. I'm talking about the inside stuff. Only you know what your core is feeling. You can pretend to be happy or nice or whatever and delude yourself into thinking that's the way you are, but only your soul knows exactly what your true intentions are. This is what you putting out into the Universe, not the playacting stuff. Cancer has given me the ability to really know myself and my core and my intentions on a soul level and that in turn guides me to be a better person each day. Am I making any sense to you? I hope so. You know how the ole saying goes "why re-invent the wheel" ? I say this because I don't want YOU to learn this lesson the hard way......accept it as my gift to you. Do some meditation, get quiet within, and have a nice long conversation with yourself. Ask questions and LISTEN for the answers as you do have all of the answers, we usually just don't get quiet enough within to hear. Ask for guidance and strength to follow through. So getting back to my "cancer" gift of clarity, I just wanted to share that although cancer SUCKS big time, if you open yourself up to the lesson, there always is one.

Told ya.......I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK

Yay......posting 2 days in a row! Whoa......that hasn't happened in a while. I'm taking a break from "computer work" (well that's not really true is it?..... as I'm writing on it now)........but this isn't work, talking to you. I was referring to fiddling around on these websites I am putting together which between chemo brain and just plain being moronic when it comes to computers, it presents quite a challenge most times. So.... as I was saying, I'm taking a break to eat a peanut butter sandwich. I am currently addicted to Peter Pan honey roasted peanut butter on toast or a bagel, as my mid morning and mid afternoon snack (hey it could be worse, it has protein and is fattening) AND of course, I'm watching my UF GATORS play Ole Miss right now. Go Gators. Just a side thought....I LOVE Football!! Many women I think, may not care for it that much, but I guess I grew up in a football watching family (Mom & Dad) so that I learned to love the sport too. My mom, right now, can tell you who plays where, how they're doing etc etc!! It used to be just Sunday and the Pros but since Linz went off to college, I've added College Football so NOW it's Saturdays & Sundays. Oh what a busy schedule I have (wink wink). It's kinda nice to not have a deadline in my life right now, seeing as the last 6 weeks were dictated by a "schedule" of events, so I am enjoying this down time of picking and choosing what I want to do and when I want to do it. I thank the Universe everyday for providing me with that opportunity. I need to take some time and catch up on long overdue emails to Tam (my wonderful cousin in Wichita), to Sam (to thank her for my birthday card), to Wendy, to Colleen, to Kathy (my sis in law) and Kala (my artist friend who was brought into my life at Moffitt), so I'm thinking after the game I'm gonna do just that. Again, another thing I am grateful for is having these amazing people and MORE in my life and I need to nurture these relationships. I really didn't have a topic per se, for this entry, but the above just gave me food for thought, and believe me, I have alot of things I want to talk to you about. But back to relationships.......why else are we here? On the big Life Scoreboard do we measure a successful life by how many things we own, or what we can afford to buy, or where we've gone on vacation? and on and on and on? Nope, I don't think so. I think we will be asked....."how well do you think you did in the relationship dept"? Did you tell your family and friends that you love them? Often? Did you do all you could to let that person know they are special to you? That you are glad they are in your life? Those are just a few of the many questions, I feel we will be asked when meeting face to face with the Creator of the Universe, and I want to be able to answer them in the way I would like to be able to answer them. I think it is true that ALL people come into your life for a reason (yep......even the cranky person in line in front of you at the grocery store), some people come into our life for the whole duration, and some are meant to share our lives just for portions of our journey. Some even come in, go out, and then come back in......all serving a higher purpose. It is up to us to nurture these relationships if they are important to us. So I will take the time RIGHT NOW to tell you ALL that I am so thankful you are in my life, whether you are family, friend or just stumbled upon my blog and left an anonymous comment, I appreciate you. Having you in my life feels good. Again, because it is a new feature on my blog, please scroll down and sign up as a follower if you are reading this, as it helps me to realize I'm just not talking to myself!! LOL......I hear they can "lock you up for that" (hee hee)

WHEW......Finally Catching my Breath...

Sorry it's been a week guys, but that's what happens when you run out of gas! I have been metaphorically stuck on the side of the road, just sitting there, waiting for the gas tank to magically fill up and it happened today. So yay...back to active life again :) The crash was just a culmination of 6 weeks of craziness between cleaning out the garage, Lindsay coming home for a week and helping with her move, the garage sale, making jewelry for the show, and then the show itself. I came home Sunday late afternoon and just crashed. I tend to forget I am only 3 months post BMT (which is a good thing really) but then again, I really do need to take it somewhat slower than I have been these last few weeks, and I intend to do just that. I have soooo many things I want to write about, that it's hard to know where to start, so I'll just give you the show thoughts right now, but many more are brewing in my head. Some cancer stuff and some not. The show was a success in many ways and I'm glad I did it. Again, I couldn't have done it without Kate and Mom for sure, and Greg, my brother pitched in and transported the tables and tent for me which was a big help. Putting together the show was alot of work, both physical and mental, but I enjoyed it and didn't get all stressy or anything.....it was just a constant. I must have been running on adrenaline (or fumes) those last few days though as when I crashed I really did crash.......I mean I had NOTHING left in the ole tank!! I met lots of really really nice people at the show, sold some stuff, and started a customer list for emails......so I met my goals for the show. I wore a scarf on my head and my australian cowboy hat, but that doesn't really hide the fact I'm bald, which turned out to be a real conversation starter!! LOL........ when we did tell my story briefly, I got so many hugs and best wishes, it was great. So I basically received validation on all levels this weekend.....that people loved my jewelry, bought my jewelry, took my cards to go to the websites, about 6 people wanted to have a home jewelry party and I received compliments on how well I looked and am doing post BMT. I couldn't have asked for better results. I've posted a few show photos and when I am through listing items on my website I'll post a link here so you can take a peek. Thanks for hangin in there with me and I'll post again tomorrow. I've added a few new features to my blog if you scroll down to the very bottom of the page you'll see them. You can "subscribe" (PLEASE DO IF YOU READ MY BLOG) to it and will be notified when I make a new entry (I think that's how it works!) and there are a few other options down there, that I have yet to figure out!! I wish I was a "techie" :)

Down to the Wire....

Well it's basically "D-DAY" for me and the art show countdown has begun! Thought I'd take a few minutes to check in as I know I won''t be writing for the next few days as I'll be busy with the weekend craft show and probably crash and burn when I get home both days, so no computer time will be on my agenda until Monday. It is from 10-4 both SAT and SUN, so Monday I will be a blob of humanity I'm sure. It's a crappy thing, but when I am "out of my routine" it really kicks my ass. I'll be getting up early on both days to have the time in the morning to move.....my first 2 hours awake are horrid as I am so stiff and achy and until I get a heating pad on my back and neck and the meds kick in, I can barely hold a conversation or move! What a fun person I am in the mornings! So I have to give myself those extra 2 hours in the morning to resemble a somewhat normal person before beginning my day. Being the perfectionist I am, I look around at what I have to display for the show, and I'm like....I need to make another watch......or bracelet or a whatever.......so there comes a time, when ready or not.....I just gotta stop and today's the day. I have too many other things on my gotta get done today list , like going for groceries to make sandwiches and get snacks for the 2 show days, get the cooler from the depths of the garage and clean it out.....if I wrote here what is on my "to-do" list for today I would run out of internet room! I'm excited that Kate, my sissie, is coming up to help me with the show and of course, Mom will be there and Ashley will help to set up for the show with us. I have to pick up some rental tables, make some signs.....oops.....starting to list my massive list so I'll STOP NOW!! LOL.....I crack myself up with so much on my plate, but ya know what? It's all good. I don't have any cancer cells right now (do the cabbage patch), so I feel invincible at the present time. I can do anything I want. Yeah for me!! Well this is a quick one I know, but "duty's calling" and I'm almost ready to move for the day so time's a wastin! My main objective for doing this weekend festival is not so much to sell stuff although that would be awesome, it's more to generate a mailing list for my websites as that's where I plan to do the majority of my business..... on the internet. I do plan on approaching boutiques and spas and other places about carrying my line at some point, but that's down the road in my business plan. For now, I just want to get out there and pass out my business cards with my websites name and address and start to make a customer base per se, to direct traffic there. I'd like to schedule doing shows every few months and also get people to sign up for hosting Home Jewelry Parties. So selling my things at the show would be icing on the cake, but with the economy the way it is right now, I'm not expecting big sales at all. Perhaps doing a show or two around the Holiday.....Nov and Dec.....would generate more sales. When I have my websites up and running with lots of items listed, I'll post a link here from my blog. Wish me Luck!
Peace & Love

Line up for HIGH FIVES People........

Now, in my feeble little chemotherapy ridden brain, (no more comments here please hee hee) all of my friends, family and those new people in my life who wandered have into my blog and have commented (you're in the friend category now) are all lined up in a row......sort of like the wedding party at the reception, when you are greeting your guests.

Now back to that scenario in a minute.....but first....a backstory

For a month or so now, I have already had on the calendar, a Moffitt Cancer Center 3 month post BMT checkup for Wednesday 9/17 (yesterday). About 10 days ago I had to go to an independent lab and have 5 vials of blood drawn for every test under the sun and to drop off a 24 hour urine collection (always a fun thing to collect). The lab was to fax the results to my Doctor at Moffitt. Well, being the absolutely crazy woman I am, I was just too dang busy with this upcoming weekend "craft festival" I have a booth in, to spend practically a day and a half going to Tampa and back, and I need the time to get ready for this show, which by the way is a whole lot of work!! So on Monday I called Moffitt, and said I needed to re-schedule due to auto problems (true story, my Jeep is in the shop.....although a partial fib, because Mom was gonna drive anyway). I was speaking to the nurse of Dr. Ben, my doctor at Moffitt, about all this. Anyway she tells me that Dr. Ben is only at Moffitt one day a week and his next opening wouldn't be until Oct.8th, and then my blood and urine results would be inaccurate having been taken nearly a month before, so I would have to have them re-done. So my request to re-schedule, is just a pain in the ass for them I'm sure! So she says, let me contact Lab Corp and have them fax me your results and if you are ok we will re-schedule for Oct.8th BUT if I see something.....ANYTHING, I don't like, I will just overbook/doublebook you for the following Wed. but expect to do a bit of waiting since I would be squeezing you in. I told her that worked out fine for me and to call and let me know what's up and when to put it on my calendar, after she got my lab fax. Within a half hour, the nurse called me back and we verbally went over my results and I had her also fax me a copy (I have a copy of ALL my labs, tests etc. since Day #1).

SO now back to my feeble little chemotherapy ridden mind

You are all lined up in that wedding reception type line because I am going down the line
GIVING HIGH FIVES TO ALL

My blood is PERFECT right now!
Liver and other organs just SUPER!
NOT a CANCER CELL to be found in either blood or urine!
A MIRACLE is happening!

Even though I have been so busy getting this show stuff together, I would stop during the day and do the "cabbage patch" and sing..... "I'm doin good" and "I don't have any cancer cells" (you must do these in a sing- songy way) and then the most important of all...."Thanks God, for these awesome results" (not sing-songy)

So needless to say I don't have a Moffitt appt until October 8th.. YIPPEE!!

Thank you ALL for sending so much love and support my way because if I was in this alone, I know the results would be different. I truly believe that having you all saying prayers & sending your positive thoughts and wishes, plays a huge role in all of this as it makes my outlook positive, increasing my endorphins, and creating a positive and healing atmosphere in my feeble little chemotherapy ridden brain! (kinda catchy little phrase huh?)

If you notice the time stamp on this entry it's EARLY for me to be writing (started around 8:15 am) because I have a really full day ahead of me and if I didn't do it now, the day would slip away and another day without an entry would go by, and I don't like that much. I feel like I am getting to "talk" to you when I write here. I feel guilty I haven't written more lately, but it's due to the show, and I'll get back to my daily or every other day ramblings after this coming weekend.

So THANK YOU for everything
I am a really happy person right now

Love and Peace to all

The Cancer Movie

Hi Everyone
Just wanted to share this little clip with you. It pretty much sums up the whole "cancer thing" for me.
http://www.thesurvivormovie.com/

Be back soon............gotta upload jewelry photos I took today FINALLY!

Update on Blood Counts.....

Today I had an appointment to have my twice a month blood work done at Dr. Nair's office. As I've said before I have now "graduated" to only seeing him once a month and having blood draws every other week. Quite the change in the ole routine having been to the office once a week for well over a year and actually seeing the doctor every other week. I'm a big girl now!! :) Actually I did gain a pound at the "official weigh-in" today so I'm up to a strapping 94 lbs. now. I was hanging at 96 for a month or so and then got down to 93 (please don't tell my mom....wink wink) so at least it's back on the way up. I think I'm going to add the dreaded Ensure or Boost although the thought of it makes me cringe after drinking it during the transplant phase of all this. Looking at the bottle kinda gives me the heebie-jeebies, but I really need to put on some weight. It's one thing to be thin and healthy looking, but I am not. I look like a cancer patient. LOL...I crack myself up. What a weird sense of humor I have. I had to laugh today at the doctors office too. I just must be in one of those moods today. Every time I go it is the same routine. I get called in......go back to their little "cubbies" where they ask me questions, take my temp and blood pressure, draw blood and then we wait for the results. So today when the gal was asking her questions that I have heard for how many visits now......(let's see every week for the last year and a half equals how many visits.....ah shit....you do the math). Anyway, the questions are how is your appetite? Are you sleeping? Do you have constipation or diarrhea? Do you have mouth sores? Tons of questions to which I answer fair or no. But it made me think..........sheesh..........I tell people about my bowel/bladder regime on a weekly basis!! Now how many of you have THAT come up in conversation weekly? Anyway, today it just tickled me. My labs were good today even though I have been back on the Acyclovir once a day. It brought my platelet level crashing at one point and he stopped it for 2 weeks. I did take it 2x a day but now only take it once. My WBC are 5.0 (normal 4.1)...........RBC are 3.62 (normal 4.20) so they are a little low which makes me anemic and tired (what else is new?) and the platelets came up ONE point to 128 with being on acyclovir for 2 weeks. Those are the babies that are last to grow and told me it could take up to a year to be in the normal range which is 140. So that's that my friends! Peace

Something I Wanted to Share.....

Hi All
I'm too tired right now to articulate my thoughts and share them (some of them, like Lindsay leaving for Las Vegas today, I'm not even ready to touch>>>BOO HOO>>>)..... but I came across this today and loved it, so I wanted to share it with you.

A Mirror is only as good as the reflection in it
An appreciative heart attracts more of what it appreciates
Adversity does not build character, but reveals it
Worry just enough to be prepared
Melt the icy fingers of fear with the sunshine of hope
A good way to forget your troubles is to help another with theirs
The sweetest grapes are picked from the vineyard of friendship
Being in a good frame of mind helps your immune system
People don't care what you think until they know how much you care
Don't be so busy adding up your problems that you forget to count your blessings
We cannot direct the wind but we can adjust the sails
The seemingly impossible large issue can always be broken down into smaller possibilities
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift.....
that's why it is called The Present

Garage Sale Day #2

And I thought I was tired last night!! HA Today we got up at 6:00 am and started the garage sale routine and thank the stars it's finally over. Please oh please, if I EVER say I'm going to have a garage sale again, take me back behind the shed and shoot me. I haven't had one in soooooo long that I had forgotten how much work is involved in running one. I had all the help in the world today and we were very busy so we made some money from our unwanted items, so that's good. It's the picking up afterward.....boxing up what you just took OUT of boxes to give to the American Cancer Society's thrift shop. The aftermath is the killer! If I could just go in the house after it was over and then it all disappeared, well, that would have been great. But no........it was all there, just staring me down, so we tried to make quick work of the clean up. Ash, Linz, Anthony and especially Kevin were VERY helpful, moving the bigger items, going to the trash dump and Kevin even trimmed my driveway of branches today, which was a gigantic help to me because I just don't have the strength or stamina right now to do the things I used to. I'm working on it, just don't have it right now. I have 2 weekends till my ALL DAY craft show, and it will probably take every second of those 2 weeks to get ready for that. I think I am a crazy person!! Taking all this on at one time.........sheesh. And in the middle of those 2 weeks I have to drive to Tampa and go to Moffitt for my 3 month check-up. Fingers crossed and say a prayer that all is well and on course. My sissie and friend Steph will be coming up to help me with the show along with my mom, so that will be a huge help. Again, something I couldn't do without them! It still rates underneath the bone marrow transplant help though!! LOL. I am so dang tired I'm surprised I can type legibly (thanks spellcheck) and I plan on doing NOTHING but watching the GATORS slaughter MIAMI tonite in football. Everybody do the Gator Chomp now....good job. Peace Out!

Garage Sale day #1

Whew.........I'm pooped! Set the alarm for 5:00 am this morning as you know how much work a garage sale is if you've ever had one and I am in such bad shape in the mornings it takes forever for me to be able to move around decently. Thank the heavens for heating pads is all I'm saying. :) It's especially hard to have one when you have a zillion items to put out and display. I wanted to put an ad in our local Pennysaver paper, which is a popular thing to do around here for a garage sale, and their deadline is Mondays at 5:00 pm. Well....last Monday was a holiday so I didn't get it in in time for the Wednesday and Saturday editions because the deadline was the previous Friday because of the holiday. So we decided to keep it a 2 day affair anyway and put up signs in strategic corners for today and knowing the Saturday edition of the Pennysaver will be out around 6:00 am tomorrow which will carry our ad. So the customers today came from street signs only, so we're expecting a larger crowd tomorrow. I think I sold a bit over $150 today so that's not too bad considering it RAINED for half of the allotted time! So I just set the alarm for 6:00 to get an extra hour of sleep since most of the stuff is still in the driveway covered up (our house is set way back on a lake so you can't see it from the road) and only some things will need to be put out, unlike today. Mom came over to help in the morning so there was 4 of us to pull it together......not too bad really. We even closed shop around 1 because it rained hard starting around then and we were tired of the tarps on....tarps off.....tarps on.....tarps off dance we had done throughout the day. Kevin came up tonite for the weekend too since Linz will be leaving for Vegas on Monday (still in denial here) so he'll help with all the heavy/man stuff tomorrow. My 94 pounds and stamina just don't cut it these days! Will catch you up on the final sales tally probably Sunday or Monday when things get back to the regular routine and the dust settles! Later (Florida) Gators

Now it's.....Happy Birthday to Lindsay!.....

Hey All........Today 9/2 is Lindsay's 25th Birthday! Hard to believe I gave birth to her so many years ago. I look at the woman she has become and am so proud to be her Mom. She is and always will be my "baby"! We are 5 days and 29 years apart, so that makes her a Virgo like me and supposedly Virgos aren't supposed to get along with each other as we tend to be know it alls (who me?) and we are perfectionistic folks who always tend to think we know the best way to do things (who me?) hee hee BUT it turns out that some of the people in my life I have become closest to have all been Virgos!! So go figure. I do believe in astrology type things but that one doesn't hold any water in my book! It's been a really busy week starting with the garage ordeal of cleaning it up and making room for her "chit" to go in there. My house looks like a war zone because we figured the things she was actually packing and taking to Vegas would be lined up on one side of the dining room table and the "I'm not sure I have to go through it" is on the OTHER side of the dining room table so therefore, thankfully I have a pretty large table in the breakfast nook so we at least can sit there and eat or at the bar at the kitchen because every other place is packed with boxes and "stuff". She's only here a week before moving to Vegas so she's on a time frame to get a bunch of her own stuff done......see some friends she won't be seeing for awhile......and going through a MASSIVE amount of who knows what in piles. Sheesh.....it's wearing me out just thinking about it! On top of everything else going on I've committed myself to show my jewelry at a local but rather big "Fall Festival of the Arts" the 2nd week in September......I have a Moffitt Cancer appt. a few days before the festival.........I need to start 2 websites where I plan on selling my jewelry BEFORE the show so I can have the website name on my business cards at the show.....and I can't begin to tell you the endless list of misc crap that is also on my "to-do" list. So.......for a recovering cancer patient I'm not heeding the advice of "take it easy" very well these days!! I like being busy though, but want to PICK what I want to be busy with.......LOL......and some of these tasks are not my choice! Making beads and jewelry is fun for me......I can feel the endorphins for happiness helping to repair my body, so that's a good thing. It's like........oh, I have cancer?..that's right, I do! LOL I'm too busy right now to give it a 2nd thought so it's being put in it's place in a dark corner and being ignored for now, which is exaclty where it needs to be! Before I go, I want to mention that I have received comments on my blog from those who have just "happened" upon it. I want to thank you for joining me on my journey and welcome you to my "family". Although we have never met, I appreciate your replies and comments and it makes my day when I receive a notice that someone has commented. Your comments do not show me your email address though, so I can't respond back, so if you'd like email me at jrgaf@aol.com and I will be glad to email back and forth with you. If you have any questions re: treatment, the BMT or meds....anything I can help you with, please write and I'll be more than happy to help. If I can give back in any way, it's the very least I can do. Peace to all